True Friends

"Life is partly what we make it, and partly what is made by the friends whom we choose. Good friends may be hard to find, but once found they are impossible to forget and hard to lose." - Unknown

We don't typically set out to make a friend in the same manner that we might seek to get a job or try to court the attention of someone we are attracted to. Friendships just seem to happen. Whether it forms at work, at school, at church, it is through these types of interaction that we discover that we share something in common with each other and that forms into a friendship. 

Or perhaps we face some difficulties, hardships, or misfortune together which forms a bond through mutual support of each other. Whatever the case, we may have stumbled across our friendships in a casual manner, it is often undeniable that once they are engrained in our lives we should be careful not to take them for granted. Our friends make us better, stronger and happier, and we should always be there to do the same for them in return.

I have always been a believer in the power of friendships and the amazing ability to rise to any occasion. I believe that friendship is about defying the odds that the world has set against us. Times are especially tough right now. COVID-19 has turned the world upside down, and we need people to help get us through it all. We need to realize that along the way, we will need someone to be by our side. A true friend.

I also believe that your truest friends may not always be the ones that you see every day. Society today makes it easy to lose the true meaning of having a friend and being a friend. Many have come to assume that if we know someone's name and say hello to them every day, that then we are true friends. We associate friendship with brief encounters of human contact. Social media has distorted the meaning of a ‘friend’ even more. We view our friendships through images of the assumed perfect lives and perfect lifestyles others portray based on the posts we see. They may be people you knew at some point, or in some cases people you may have never met face to face. The world has become so fast paced that we are too busy to stop for just a moment to make actual connections with the people around us. We are all connected, but not truly making a connection.

In reality, some of your true friends are likely the people you may have not spoken to in a while. See, true friendship does not always require daily interaction but thrives on that mutual ‘connection’. It's been said that everlasting friends can go long periods of time without speaking and never question the friendship. These types of friends pick up like they just spoke yesterday, regardless of how long it has been or how far away they live, and they don't hold grudges. They understand that life is busy...but know that you will ALWAYS love them. For me, It seems like if I get together with someone I consider a true friend it could be years since I have seen them last and yet the second we get together it feels as if we had never skipped a day, and our friendship had never missed a beat.

• True friends are those that come running when everyone else is running out of our lives. 
• True friends are the ones that will pick up the pieces of our brokenness and somehow make us whole again. 
• True friends are the ones that are never afraid to tell us the truth, even though it may hurt. 
• True friends will save us from our own sinking ship, even though we had refused to heed their warnings. 
• True friends are always the first ones there for you and the last ones to leave. 
• True friends are always willing to lend us an ear, or a shoulder to cry on. 
• True friends are the ones that will know our weaknesses and will never reveal them to the world. True friends are those that won't laugh at our faults and correct our thoughts. 
• True friends are the ones that will shield us from the harsh judgment the world will have for us. 
• True friends will stand beside us to share in our shame and/or fame. 
• True friends treat us as if we were what we ought to be and help us to become what we are capable of being. 
• True friends may not be there for us every day but are there when we really need them. 
• True friends never expect anything but our true friendship in return.

We all need to realize some very important things. We all need to be friends and have friends. We need to rediscover the journey of friendship and begin to practice the lessons we learn along the way. We need to have a hunger for the power of great friendship. We need to yearn for the chance to be the ones that rise to the occasion, the ones that will be a hero to our friends. The ones that will be the first ones there, help put the fire and be the last ones to leave. We need to open ourselves to trust another human being to be our hero and be there when we least expect it. We must break down the walls and let friendship be a part of our lives because we all need a friend to count on. Now is the time to make more meaningful connections.

Think of your friends and relationships like a "value" bank account, into which you deposit and withdraw personal interactions from. Make a list of your closest friends, and consider your last few interactions with them. Have You Made a Deposit Lately? Was your last conversation or last time together helpful, supportive or influential for them—in the way of advice, listening, encouraging or troubleshooting? Count that as a deposit. Did you seek advice, need a friend to hear your point of view, or ask a favor of them? Then, you made a withdrawal from your friendship’s “value bank.”

Evaluating your friendships this way will help you realize if you’ve been taking too much from your friends and not returning the favor. Or conversely, realize that some friends may readily detract from you and rarely reciprocate. Relationships, after all, are investments of your time but well worth the reward.

In life, you will realize there is a role for everyone you meet.  Some will test you, some will use you , some will love you, and some will teach you.  But the ones who are truly important are the ones who bring out the best in you.  They are rare and amazing people who remind you why it's worth it.

Take the time to remember and be there for a good friend. Those we have, those we've kept, those we can make. Take the time to mend a lost friendship. Reach out and touch a friend. Let them know what a difference they have made in your life. And ultimately, we must continue to remind ourselves that the only way to have a true friend is to BE one first.

Live the life you deserve, with purpose, and on purpose!

Make today great!

Curtis

"A friend is someone who gives you total freedom to be yourself-and especially to feel, or not feel. Whatever you happen to be feeling at any moment is fine with them. That's what real love amounts to - letting a person be what he really is." - Jim Morrison