Perfectly Imperfect

"One of the basic rules of the universe is that nothing is perfect.  Perfection simply doesn't exist. Without imperfection, neither you nor I would exist." - Stephen Hawking

Why do we often pressure ourselves to perform perfectly in so many areas? We desire to be perfect fathers or mothers, sons or daughters, friends and lovers. We desire to have the perfect bodies, to say the perfect things, to create perfect offerings to others, to accomplish every undertaking with perfection. 

Unfortunately society, social media, our cultures and sometimes even the people we associate with, teach us to seek perfection. So we end up expecting it from ourselves. Sometimes we feel that people will like us better if we are "perfect". Sometimes we simply don't realize what we are doing. And some of us subconsciously punish ourselves in our quest for perfection by repeatedly setting the stage for failure. The desire to be perfect burdens us as people and ironically is the pathway to unhappiness.

In any case, when we strive to be perfect the results are predictable. Perfection suggests a state of flawlessness, without any defects. Since complete perfection is impossible, we always fall short. Then, because we are so often dissatisfied with our accomplishments and results, we limit our opportunities to feel good about ourselves.  Eventually we get caught up on a treadmill that prevents us from enjoying our jobs, our relationships and life in general.

Think of machines. At first it may operate perfectly and do exactly what you expect it to do, exactly the way you expect it to do it, every time. Well, at least for a while. Eventually, over time, it may begin to wear down and, even itself, require repairs.  As humans, however, we were never intended to be perfect. It's even expressed that way when we say "I'm only human!" We need to remind ourselves that we are not machines, we're humans. Our goal isn't to emulate machines, but embrace the imperfections of being human.

Ironically, if someone ever could achieve the impossible state of perfection, it's likely that very few people would be able to tolerate him or her. Simply because they would be a constant reminder to everyone else of our shortcomings. Clearly, the pursuit of perfection causes frustration and pain. These self-afflicted symptoms are completely reversible, however. If we give ourselves a break by simply trying to do our best instead of attempting to do the impossible. 

Author and behavioral scientist, Steve Maraboli, put it best in his description and correlation with snowflakes: "We have all heard that no two snowflakes are alike. Each snowflake takes the perfect form for the maximum efficiency and effectiveness for its journey. They are on the same journey, but each takes a different path. Along this gravity-driven journey, some snowflakes collide and damage each other, some collide and join together, some are influenced by wind. There are so many transitions and changes that take place along the journey of the snowflake. But, no matter what the transition, the snowflake always finds itself perfectly shaped for its journey. I find parallels in nature to be a beautiful reflection of grand orchestration. One of these parallels is of snowflakes and us. We, too, are all headed in the same direction. We are being driven by a universal force to the same destination. We are all individuals taking different journeys and along our journey, we sometimes bump into each other, we cross paths, we become altered and we take different physical forms. But at all times we too are 100% perfectly imperfect. At every given moment we are absolutely perfect for what is required for our journey. I’m not perfect for your journey and you’re not perfect for my journey, but I’m perfect for my journey and you’re perfect for your journey. We’re heading to the same place, we’re taking different routes, but we’re both exactly perfect the way we are."

If you want to strive for perfection, be perfect in your imperfection. Accept and love yourself as you are. What is truly needed is quite simply the honest observation of what we actually are at any moment, of our mental and emotional attitudes, our contradictions, our confusion, our psychological messiness, our desires, our passions, our humanness. There is no perfection in this, and no imperfection. We need to realize that the closest thing to perfection is our ability to be fully present in the moment.  No need to judge ourselves or grade ourselves, but to simply give it your all, to do our best and be our best.

Make today great!

Curtis

"Perfectionism is the enemy of happiness. Embrace being perfectly imperfect. We make mistakes because we are imperfect. Learn from your mistakes, forgive yourself, and keep moving forward.  You’ll be happier." -  Roy T. Bennett