Stop Trying To Control Others

"Never tell people how to do things. Tell them what to do, and they will surprise you with their ingenuity." - General George S. Patton

Everybody likes to get things done. However, we all tend to have our own opinion and expectations of how we think things are supposed to get done. And, far too often, we want others to meet our expectations. 

Make sure the dishes are stacked just so. Always dust first, then vacuum. No, don't take that road to get there. Why did you do this? Why did you do that? Please don't do it that way! Sound familiar?

When we consistently force our opinions, ideas, or suggestions onto others, we not only show that we don't respect and trust them or their ideas, we may also miss out on discovering new ways to get things accomplished.

It is human nature to be control freaks and try to control our circumstances, environment, and other people. In some way, it may give us a false sense of importance and security. "It's my way or the highway!"

What can be worse is if we expect others to act in a particular way and attempt to control their behaviors. But doing so doesn't help anyone involved, and we can create harmful stress, anxiety, and frustration for everyone.  

Instead, we should let go of that control. You will be happier and more at peace with yourself and with others. Remember, you can only control things that pertain to yourself and not what applies to others. You may influence others, but ultimately, they must make their own decisions and be responsible for their actions. Trying to control someone can cause others to hesitate to make their own decisions creating self-doubt and insecurities. 

We need to allow others to be who they are and do things their way. If we have an idea or a solution for improvement, it should be just that. Offer it as an opinion and let them decide. Everyone is different, and everyone does things differently. Often we can get to the same destination using various routes. Does it make that big of a difference how something is getting done as long as it gets done? 

If you are a manager of people at work, avoid micromanaging your team. Good managers encourage and empower their employees, allowing them to make some mistakes, learn and excel. We need to be more willing to allow people to be themselves and work in that way.

If you are having a hard time letting go, find advantages in being less controlling. There is no need to be so personally invested in everything, resulting in less stress for everyone. You will also be easier to be around. 

Nobody likes the feeling of being controlled, and it is a major turnoff, often creating resentment. People will be more inclined to help you and see you succeed if they feel valued and appreciated and allowed to grow.

Make today great!

Curtis

"Give a man a fish, and you'll feed him for a day. Teach a man to fish ad you feed him for a lifetime." - Chinese Proverb