Move Out Of Your Own Way

"You are far too smart to be the only thing standing in your way." - Jennifer J. Freeman

Do you ever get the feeling you are standing in your own way when it comes to achieving success? Do your own thoughts and beliefs about yourself and your abilities hold you back from achieving the kind of life or success you deserve? 

Whether you admit it and realize it or not, most everyone does. We are our own worst enemy. Our tendency is to continually compare ourselves to others who have attained the things we desire. We tend to manifest feelings of inferiority because we may not be where we want to be in life. These feelings are often turned into thoughts that we are not good enough to achieve these things. 

This often leads to feelings that we don’t deserve good things. Even if we work hard and achieve some worthwhile objectives, we believe that we are not really entitled to our successes and we often engage in behaviors that sabotage our successes. Then there we are again standing in OUR OWN way of our success. 

Here are some self-sabotage patterns that exist and create conflicts between your conscious and subconscious mind. If you can trace them and end that conflict you can increase our self-worth, self-esteem and manage your emotions more effectively:

• You consistently seek the approval of others. Why do you need everyone's approval? These things happen when you are not aware of your true personal power and your own self-worth. All of us have been in situations where we had to step out of our comfort zones. We become insecure, hesitant and not sure of ourselves. We seek to fit in. But we were not born to fit in, we were born to stand out. To be our unique self. 
• You procrastinate and put things off. Let's all admit this: the more difficult or boring the task is, the more likely we are to put it off. There are things we know we need to do in order to get a result or outcome we desire, yet we put if off again and again. We start a ton of projects, but never quite finish them completely. The first step is recognize that we are doing this. Then just get started on it. Typically it wasn't as bad as we made it out to be in our minds. There we go standing in our way again. Take notice how much satisfaction you feel from getting it done and out of the way. Why wait next time?
• You think things need to be perfect, every time and all the time. Perfectionism can get out of control. I'll admit I struggle with this one from time to time. So I understand wanting things to be a certain way. But if your level of expectation becomes obsessive, self-defeating and counterproductive, then you can consider yourself an unhealthy perfectionist. You might find yourself having a hard time living in the now.  Because you are too focused on fixing the past and or protecting the future. Wholeness does not mean perfection, it means embracing reality and brokenness as an integral part of life. The self-destructive practice of unhealthy perfectionism can be replaced by setting realistic and attainable goals. Accept yourself as you are.  Understand it's ok to not be perfect. It's ok to make mistakes.
• You constantly compare yourself to others. We find ourselves needing to find out how we line up with someone else. What we need to do is re-direct this comparison back to ourselves. Compare where we are to where we want to be. Understand that it will take some work to get there. But that is ok too. We don't need to be like someone else. We just need to be the best versions of ourselves.
•  We resort back to our own bad habits and addictions. These can be different for everyone, but we all have some. Maybe it's eating the wrong things, drinking too much, wasting time on social media, or gossip. Maybe we don't get enough exercise or fail to exercise at all. We sleep too much (or not enough). We binge watch too much tv. We resort back to doing these things even when we know they may stand in the way of us achieving better things. I'll be honest, this is tough to change. But it can be done. Breaking bad habits takes time, effort and persistence. Start small but think big. Celebrate little wins along the way. 

What you have to do is realize that YOU DO DESERVE SUCCESS!!! But how do we convince ourselves of this? Having great self-esteem and confidence in yourself is something that has to be worked at, just like anything else if you want to develop it into a personal strength. The fact is that you deserve every good thing that you are capable of acquiring as the result of the application of your talents and the effort that you give. 

The key is to work on and develop these strong positive personal beliefs about yourself on a daily basis. Beliefs that you consciously remind yourself about so that they serve you unconsciously every day, in every way. We must realize that people who accomplish extraordinary things are just ordinary people who developed themselves mentally. People who don't quit, don't give up or give in. People who can overcome obstacles that stand in their way and keep going until they reach their goals! People like YOU and me. 

You just need to be able to accept that you are as good and as talented in your own way as anyone else. There is nothing you can’t accomplish if you really want it. Be mindful of your thoughts, beliefs and emotions. The worst and most harmful beliefs you can have are what we call "self-limiting beliefs." These are beliefs about yourself, most of which are not true; but they hold you back nonetheless. We need to release any preconceived beliefs about what needs to occur in your life before you can be happy. Sometimes you, or others, will say that you cannot achieve certain goals because you did not get a high enough education. This is absolutely not true. You can achieve anything you want if you put your mind to it, and give consistent focused effort. 

So, what things are YOU "thinking" or "assuming" about yourself that may be limiting yourself, or may not be "in fact" true? It is a fact that we tend to accept our excuses and settle for the reasons we are not succeeding or moving ahead out of fear. Fear of failure, or even just the fear of the pain of possible failure. Or even our fear of actually succeeding. Afraid of the risks. Remember the acronym of F.E.A.R = False Evidence Appearing Real. 

Not only do we need to move out of our own way, but we have to have the courage to stand up to ourselves and challenge our fears and doubts. Hold them up to the light. Change your beliefs. Imagine that you had absolute confidence in yourself in a particular area. Think as if you had extraordinary ability in this area. Then, act as if it were impossible for you to fail! Remember, whether you think you can or you can't, YOU are RIGHT. 

Lastly, stop making excuses for lack of success. Success means having the courage , the determination and the will to become the person you believe you were meant to be. Clear your mind and move forward. Take action and start making progress. Think about it, think about it, think about it. But watch your thoughts for they become words, watch your words for they become actions, watch your actions for they become habits, watch your habits for they become character, watch your character for it becomes your destiny. It all starts in your own mind. There are plenty of difficult obstacles in your path. Don't allow yourself to become one of them. Move out of your own way! And then GO FOR IT! 

Make today great!

Curtis

"Get out of your own way, your dreams are a poetic reflection of your soul's wishes. Be courageous enough to follow them." - Steve Maraboli